Sunday
This Sunday was, if possible, even more slow than what my Sundays usually are. No energy whatsoever. The energy ran out even before the weekend started. It is dangerous with pub after school when you have not eaten since lunch, I was screwed already after my first glass of wine... But I had fun. Unfortunately, there wasn't much party mood left for Saturday. There was certainly much dancing and celebrating at Haris' place, but on the way to town me and Jasmin decided to go home instead of going to the club. In spite of that we woke up like two zombies this morning. I've noticed that my stomach can't stand anything anymore, neither coldness, alcohol or food. Buhu. I almost gassed Jasmin to death tonight.... juuust kiddiiiing... or am I? (I hear my mom saying, "A NICE LADY?!")
Now I just want Monday and a new week. I want to go back to school to tie up on my project, I want that satisfying feeling when you see the result of a work you've been doing for a long time. I'm psyched and ready.
Guess if I was happy when my mom came home from Germany with a bag full of goodies. Guess if I got a stomach ache.
From school
1. Study visit at the castle. 2. Lunch at Vapiano in Old Town. 3. My desk at school, with cookies as usual.
4. A break from work playing four in a row, which I kicked everybody's ass in, hehe. I actually had the highest rank in this game at blip.se once upon a time. Just for your information...
Busy week
I have not been as effective as I wished for this week, even though it has been long days in school. Story of my life. Can't I just once feel "oh, this went fast, I'm done!". It doesn't happen to me. It is not meant for me. Today, for example, I wasted over two hours(!) trying to find a missing feature in AutoCAD. I wanted to kill AutoCAD. I was so frustrated that when I finally found it my classmates witnessed a few tears of joy. It felt so good to beat the computer. I wonder how many battles I will fight against all the programs we have to learn.
Tomorrow after school, it is finally time for the architect students' new bar to open. Our pub burned down this spring and has not been fixed until now, that's why architect students had to crash other pubs at school or outside of school. Atleast we have been very successful in keeping up our Friday tradition in spite of that! This Saturday we will celebrate Haris and on Sunday I will, if I have the energy which I highly doubt, bring myself to school to work on the project. Go me.
Random about school
On my way to school today, I met my counselor from high school. Maybe not a big deal, but I feel a big gratitude for her. She helped me many times when I had my "I don't know what to do and I feel like crying"-moments. I went to her so many times that she among thousands of students knew my name, what class I was in, which grades I had and what I wanted to study in the future. And she got engaged in helping me, she emailed KTH for me, found out information for me - things that she really could told me to do myself. I've thought about sending an email to her to thank her again and to say that I got in to Architecture school and how I'm very happy, but I never did. Shame on me. Today I luckily got the chance to, face to face, tell her how much her help meant to me. And she asked if I want to come when the school has "carrier day" to talk about my education... Of course I will! If someone last year during our carrier day would have said that maybe I will stand and talk about the architecture programme I would have said no to the way.
If someone last year would have said that my second project will be to draw an entire hotel, I would have said no to the way... But now I drawing a hotel. It's amazing what you can do if you have to. In the beginning I got nervous when we got a new task and thought how the hell I would do this? I felt like the only one who thought that way. But that way of thinking is gone now, you just have to see everything as a challenge that you will overcome if you want to.
Speaking about the project, it's time for my loved ones to say goodbye to me until it's over. Soon I will once again find myself in that state where nothing else exists other than school. I haven't missed the stress, but I must admit that I've missed those late nights at school and being so engaged in the work as I was during the last project. I have much to do and the deadline is approaching, and it's irritating me that I still feel pretty calm. You see, this is my problem, I don't start to perform properly until I get panic, and I get panic when there is too little time left. But it's cool, I can do this.
MetalStorm
Both me and my boyfriend are game nerds who so easy become addicted to gaming. It doesn't matter if it is a small mobile game - games are made to be played. The latest on the list is MetalStorm on the iPhone, a game where you fly warplanes. Perfect since we can meet each other online and play together against to others. Perfect since it only took me a few hours to get better at it than him. Here he gets pissed off because I'm supposed to let him shoot me down for him to get money, but I can't help shooting him down over and over and over again...
Note: 1. How many times my boyfriend calls me retarded. 2. His excuses that he "flies slowly" and that "he got disconnected". Anyway, the best thing about this is the love we feel for each other when we shoot down everyone else together... Or who am I kidding, the best thing is when I shoot him down three seconds after the start MOHAHA.
Study
Right now I'm working with AutoCAD, sketching and looking through architecture magazines. My sweet parents also came home with a gift for me a few days ago, some books about modern architecture, and made me happy like a little nerd. That's exactly what I need - inspiration, inspiration, inspiration.
Liveblogging
23:09: Half-time. Must gather myself a bit. I'm not mentally strong enough for games like this. I have both been lying on the floor in a fetal position and jumped around with joy. There's still a bit hope. Please God don't kill it. It's 2-1 to Portugal right now, which unfortunately have been better the first half... but also damned annoying. Can all Portuguese players do me a favor and STOP LYING ON THE GROUND AND CRYING EVERY TWO MINUTES!? "!¤#&#!!¤# I get these serious outbursts of rage. Back to hell now.
23:15: 3-1 and a red card. That pretty much killed it.
23:25: GOAAAL!
23:32: Goal. 4-2 to Portugal. Can not stand this game anymore.
23:39: Ne kontam Begovic. Ne kontam sta radis. Probaj stajati u sredini gola. Molim te, probaj.
23:40: 6-2. Oh, goodbye.
23:52: The End. I'm also finished. What a mentally tough match to watch. All I think about now is the match in Paris and the unfear penalty that led to this match... But as I said, we'll continue to fight, cheer and hope. Again.
Sretno Zmajevi!
Tonight we either qualify for the European Championship or stumble across the finish line, again. Tonight we will either dance, jump and cry with happiness or get a slap in the face, again. I hope like most Bosnians, with all my heart, that we finally get our well-deserved place, but no matter how it ends, we will fight and cheer as much again, and again and again.
All Bosnians' beloved Erik Niva has once again wonderfully described it in his article that gave me goose bumps and tears in my eyes. He gets it - it's more than just soccer. Read the article HERE! Thanks Erik for sharing our history.
This time I unfortunately won't be cheering with a lot of other Bosnians (I want rather than anything to stand and cheer in Lisbon), but tonight I'll cheer, and maybe cry, with my family. Sretno BiH!
Said that I'm leaving on Monday morning
Knitted from H&M.
Life keeps getting better
Life is getting better every year. Every day I learn more about myself, about what I want, about life and what I need and don't need to keep being the happy person I am. Every day I'm getting better at letting go of things I find it hard to let go, daring things I am afraid to do and believing that I can do whatever I want to do. Everything isn't perfect, but it doesn't have to be. I know there will be difficulties and tough times ahead, but it doesn't matter - they will pass. I have so much to learn and I want to take in everything life has to give. I am grateful for everything I have and for learning to be my own best friend. I've learned that it's really only me who can ensure my own happiness. I choose what to focus on and value as important. And I'm getting better at it every day.
Life is amazing and it gets better every year, every day, for every experience and every lesson. That's all I have to say.
You shoot me down, but I won't fall, I'm titanium
Love is my drug, is my medicine
I'm sitting here eating my boyfriend's mother's homemade bajadera, which is the best! I don't know how the woman does it. I got a load of it home with me but I have a feeling that I will soon need to make trip to Uppsala to grab some more before it disappears. And kiss his mom a little extra to thank her!
Any to the way, Tuesday today, which means a long day with lectures. I managed to stand out without falling asleep, woho! I must do some sketches for tomorrow before bedtime tonight. I can no longer use the excuse that I'm "sketching in my head"... But if I know myself well, I'll be "sketching in my sleep" soon.
Girls' night
I had really missed evenings with my lovely girls. The group was unfortunately not quite complete yesterday, but almost.
Bajram Serif Mubarek Olsun
For all you who celebrate, Bajram Serif Mubarek Olsun. I hope you have a better bajram than me...
Thank you dad
I have been sitting a few hours with dad, working with AutoCAD. I shed a tear of joy for having my dad as my private instructor who explains each step and function ten times for me to understand, unlike the lecturer at school that left most of us looking as a bunch of question marks. I have my own trainer, own criticizer and I inherited his fine drawing tool that I don't wanna pay for as a poor student.
But the very best thing about having a father who is an architect is his involvement in my daily life. He knows what I'm talking about and he understands my thinking better than anyone else when it comes to everything aesthetic. My father has encouraged my interest for this since I remember. I did everything with him, from sitting and drawing next to him when he worked at home, with his pencils, erasers and furniture templates, to making collages, building houses with Lego, drawing and painting, going to hobby shops and buying model building, doing trips to different places, listening to his stories of houses, places, people - true as fictional. I've always looked up to everything he does, and loved to share this interest with him. His opinion has always meant the most, and his praise for my drawings has always been real. He always saw my qualities better than anyone else. He still does.
And today I once again go to him first when I get home, to tell and show what I have done during the day, just as the five-year old me that came home from kindergarten and wanted to show my dad my paintings.
I'm happy to have a dad with a great commitment that has meant a lot to who I've become and what I'm passionate about. It's nothing but natural for us to once again share our common interest. Something that is only ours, something that no one else in the family understands. Something that we will share our whole lifetime, just dad and me.
I even managed to make a cheesy CAD-greeting in return. The architect's way of showing love, haha.
Inside the box is the new outside the box
The morning began with a guided tour on Beckholmen, the site of our new project. A really polluted and gloomy place, specially on a gray autumn morning like this. I looked pretty amused in my helmet and vest. Anyway, there somewhere on the island I'm supposed to make a hotel... Wish me luck.
The rest of the day I walked around in the drawing room, disturbing the others, when my brain couldn't be creative anymore. It's not always the easiest, especially if you, like me, have a hard time being satisfied with an idea. You try to think innovative, different, "outside the box" and yada yada. Everyone is always supposed to be so outside the box all the time. I think I'll start thinking inside the box. Inside the box is the new outside the box.
After school my group went home to one of our teachers to watch Star Wars movies. In educational purpose. I just love our teachers!
