King's Garden
The weather we have had in recent weeks is too good to be Swedish weather, I'm used to complain about it. Yesterday when I said it's too good to be true, it began to rain in the evening, so maybe I should keep quiet and be happy.
Today we enjoyed the sun in beautiful King's Garden, with a canopy of flowers. You have to take this opportunity before it disappears! I didn't think about all "musts", but now it has caught up and I have a lot of studying, preparing for our studentparty tomorrow and other stuff I need to fix. But I will not complain, fun days are waiting!
Dino Merlin
I took a trip to Norrköping after all. After the concert me and Jasmin went all the way home in our stylish BMW. I wish.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree
You know when you sometimes experience moments when you realize that you are or that you're doing something just like your parents, thing which you usually laugh at or complain about? It happened to me just now. Dennis was on his way out when I stopped him and pointed out that his hair is wet. He replied that it is wax.
- Don't try to fool me, I can see that it is completely wet. You will get sick!
- But what is wrong with you? I always go out with wet hair, it's not freezing cold outside!
- But it still windy! Do not come to me later when you get upalu mozga! (Brain inflammation).
Conclusion: Omg. I will raise my children the same when it comes to this, I will probably force them to have potkosulja, and also protect them against propuh (draft) as if it were the devil, and make them hypersensitive to coldness. Poor children. Now I came to think of a paragraph from a post I wrote some year ago:
I've said it before and I'll say it again, thank you so much mom for a childhood with potkosulje (utrpane naravno, ugurane u gace) and too warm clothing, and for that I never, nedooo bog, got to sit on something cold, and for never letting me go to sleep or go out with a single wet hair on my head because then I would get "upalu mozga". Thanks, I'm really hardened against the cold now. Or not.
So this potkosuljaphenomenon ... How many Bosnians have gone through the revolution against potkosulja? When me and Dennis went to school and discovered that it wasn't fun to have potkosulja when no one else had it, and when all swedish children after gym asked "Why do you have a tanktop underneath the shirt?", then the war against potkosulja began. Mom tried with arguments "ozebsti ce ti bubrezi!", "Potkosulja upija znoj!" but no. It was the end of potkosulja. Would guess that 99% of the bosnian kids has gone through something similar.
Friday
Today I've done a little bit of everything. I've showered, cleaned, ironed clothes, studied and even had time to play with the webcam. Soon I'm off to town for coffee in the evening sun. Tonight I'll probably go out and party and tomorrow I have to work. I get tired just by thinking about it. The big question now is whether I should go at Dino Merlin in Norrköping tomorrow after work. Getting to and from Norrköping sounds harder than usual right now. Haha oh, these concerts... Once I used to look forward to them and bought an outfit for the concert a month in advance. Now, not only do I decide what crap I'll wear an hour before, but I decide whether I should go or not an hour before. Any to the way... Bye.
The blog
Recently, I've pondered a bit about the blogging and what it has brought me, and it is more than I once would have thought. Not only positive, unfortunately. It amazes me when I, compared to others, don't have many readers. But a few hundred people, most of them people I don't know, makes a big difference on what blogging meant when I started and how it is now.
I've been blogging for over three years, and I wouldn't had done it for so long if I did not like it. It's like a kind of hobby, I think it's fun to post pictures, I like to write (it is perhaps worth mentioning that I have always been a diary person), and I also think it's great with feedback and to sometimes also discuss things when the opportunity arises. I have also discovered that there are so many nice people, encouraging, helping and giving compliments without personal gain, without me even knowing who those people are, and yet, a comment from them can make me very happy. Some times it has also happened that people come up to me on some Bosnian parties and said that they read my blog and like it. I really appreciate it.
But, why I've started to feel distaste for blogging is because there are far too many no-lifers here, who cares too much about my personal life. Why? For gossip? To find defects so that you can feel better about yourselves? I refer not only to my blog when it comes to this but I see so many sick comments on other blogs. Usually to Bosnian girls, which is hardly surprising. What's wrong with you people? Why do you care if a girl gets to sleep in the same bed with her boyfriend, or how many she had sex with, or what her parents say about this and about that? When is it time for you to focus on your own life and bother less about the others? You are incredibly embarrassing and I feel sorry for you who actually have a great interest in that. Apparently you have little to do and think about in your own life.
What I want to say with this is that I have started to think that this interest has become very inconvenient. It is annoying that I can't go on a Bosnian concert without knowing that people that I had never seen before know me and care about what I do, if something happens that is worth gossiping about they won't wait a second. It is disturbing with people who comment about false rumors and lies in my blog only to ruin it for me, about people around me. And it is sad that my blog has made me realize that there are so many people who do not wish me well, who revel in my misfortune.
I don't want to stop blogging and will not do so in the near future. But the thought has occurred to me to password protect my blog, or perhaps pause a while and save everything I type until I feel like posting it. I don't know. What I know is that blogging is beginning to bring more and more negative, and it's really a shame because I love my shitty little blog.
Chill by the grill
Comments
This was waiting for me when I got home today. I do not know if I should laugh or marvel over that people care so much about my love life, people I do not even know. The last comment I think was a good answer for me.
Anonymous on Friday :
Beautiful pictures! Can't you put up some new pictures of you and your boyfriend? I just have to say that you are incredibly gorgeous together, one of the most beautiful couple I've ever seen:) take care of you!
Anonymous on Sunday :
Have you broken up with your boyfriend? It seems that you are sad in some of your posts.
Anonymous on Sunday :
so how are things going with jasmin, you do not write as much about him: (
Anonymous on It's a beautiful day, do not let it get away :
do you have boyfriend? :)
C on It's a beautiful day, do not let it get away :
How long have you been in a relationship?
Minna on Sunday :
Why should anyone wonder if Lana has broken up with her boyfriend. IF she has then it is her own affair. You don't have to mention your boyfriend/girlfriend in every post to confirm that you are still together.
It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away
You just can not sit at home when it is so nice weather. I've started to believe that it is already summer. The day included a trip to town and barbeque with some friends!
Sunday
Today I've been with Karin who spent half the day here. She came like an angel with a bag full of chocolate and a mind full of cleverness. As usual, we sat in the kitchen and discussed life for a few hours. Sometimes I feel that we should be awarded a prize for our psychological analysis and reflections. And sometimes I feel that we would do better if we would stop analyzing and instead be retarded like so many others in this world. Three things are clear anyway:
1. I could use a little mental exercise to recover the ability to affect the mental.
2. I love my good friend Karen very much. What would I do without someone like her in my life?
3. I need to sleep.
Leave the world behind
Came home from Melisa a while ago where we celebrated her birthday that is coming up soon. I went home a bit earlier for different reasons. Anyway, the best thing about the evening was that I got to meet some of my girls that I've missed a lot. There was also some dancing and good food. On the way home, I became friends with the bus driver and instead of dropping me off in the middle of the woods where I would wait for the next bus, he drove me home all the way to Skarpnäck because his turn was over anyway. Again, a totally unknown person whose kindness filled me with a lot of joy and appreciation. I love these people that show up at times when it really is needed, it is needed when there are a few other people I'm disgusted by. Yes, disgusted is probably the right word.
Friday
Now it begins to sink in that Easter break has begun, and it feels wonderful! However, I can not relax yet because I still have school work that is stalking me, but I can't do anything else than just deal with it. The sun gives me such a high dose of happiness which can't be ruined, not even by school work! (I won't be surprised if it starts raining now).
After school today mom picked me up and we went into town to take care of some business. We also ate the first ice cream in the sun. Tonight will be a calm Friday night. Now when I'm getting older and going on these midweek studentparties I just want to spend the weekend by relaxing and having movie nights ... Taking long walks, reading newspapers, drinking tea, solving crosswords... Or not. But tonight will be calm and tomorrow I'll party.
We don't sleep when the sun goes down
Last night we went to another studentparty at Rose and had a fun evening with Kärrtorp people again. First we met up with the girls for pre partying, it looked very funny when we sat like a large, colorful bunch, dressed as various children's characters at one table. I was dressed as Snow White, version 2.0, haha. The evening's recurring question was if I had cut my hair, but it was the clips that did their job through half the night. Me and Karin were once again there until the end of the party (refuse to be The Blitzer) and followed the guys to McDonalds afterwards. We did not fall asleep until 6 this morning! Luckily we had a very chill day at school when we mostly sat and had coffee. I tried to go into town afterwards because I thought it was a wonderful sunny day and I could go without a jacket for the first time this year, but I couldn't last more than 15 minutes. Went home and past out for a few hours. I feel completely knocked out the day after these parties. I wonder if I will manage to hold the "until the end" tradition after the holidays when there will be four studentparties in a week.
Off to school
Tuesday
Have I mentioned that I hate Tuesdays? Yes, I have and I'm doing it again. I have stressed, I have had a stomach ache, I have cried (not that it is something unusual when it comes to me) and I've been so exhausted that I fell asleep and slept away half the day and now I have to stay up the rest of the evening to work on a project.
I hope that tomorrow will be better. It should be, tomorrow night is another Kärrtorp party and I have high expectations for it after the last one. The theme is "childhood characters" and because I'm pretty unimaginative and lazy right now, I will be Snow White as I was when we did those funny pics with the class, with some changes then. Feels good anyway with a little party in the middle of everything.
Before ending this post, I must add that I love that there are nice people, strangers, which can make the day a bit better for the moment by a simple good deed. Over and out. 
Monday
I love How I Met Your Mother, you can learn many useful words and expressions from the series. "The Blitz" is a good word for the one who miss the fun at the party. I felt like a blitz today at lunch when I heard that things started to happen and go wild just after I went home last Saturday. Aw maaan. You have to stay until the end.
Anyway, a new week has begun and it's the last one before the Easter break. This morning I had a test done and one more stone lifted from my back. Two more to go. This week will be the hardest so far, I do not know how I will get everything together. I will know how I managed, or failed, in a week. And it will probably go quickly until then.
By the way, I have fixed my application to the architect's program now, and then I'll decide what to do in July. If I don't get in then the choice is made for me and I'll go to the preparatory course and try next year instead. If I get in I believe that I will be pretty hard to not accept. Given that I neither made the architect test nor the Scholastic Aptitude Test, I have less chances to get in. However, it is nice that a part of me wants a free year, therefore it will be easier to deal with a rejection than if I was really intent on study right away.
Sunday
I took a long walk with Natalie, which was much needed, both mentally and physically. When we parted, I walked home smiling and feeling a tremendous gratitude that I have such good friends. It means the world to me to have friends that you know are there for you, who can be trusted and who are willing to put out there arms as soon as you need to lean on them. Who are pleased when you are happy and who are willing to share your grief, who never goes behind your back and never let jealousy or anything else get in the way. I've seen a lot of that and know that true friends are not easy to find. But the ones I've found I love so, so much.
Na grudima si mojim disao ti
Baby I just wanna dance, I don't really care
Saturday meant work and party. We celebrated Elina yesterday and was invited for dinner and party at her house. It was very nice, but all work and menstrual pain had taken its toll on me and by two when I went home I was exhausted.
Today I have to study a bit again (please let this good period to be over soon) but I feel like taking a walk in the sun before that. Must find someone willing to keep me company. 
Thursday
Today I found out that one of the essays I have to write is postponed. A stone was lifted of my back. Just a few stones left. Despite the stress and timelimit I got nothing done today. I think my brain has really good defense, because I have totally managed to displace feelings of stress and refuse to think about all that awaits. I feel good doing it so why not keep it that way. Me and Karin stayed in the school cafeteria to half-past five without doing anything at all of our work. Eventually, one of the cafetieria workers, who probably wondered if we had no home, asked us to go. When I got home Natalie came over for a while, and when she left I managed to fall asleep and woke up ten o'clock. So useless! Therefore I have to spend the half day tomorrow studying, even though I am free from school. The rest of the dat will be spent with Jasmin.
By the way, I have realized why I look like I have a cold with bags under my eyes, why it itches in my mouth and eyes, and why I'm sneezing all the time. So we meet again, pollen...
Tuesday
Not much going on in my life these days. I panic and want to burst into tears when I think of this period before Easter break. Therefore I don't think about it, I take each day as it comes. Instead I think of all parties, birthdays and student parties that are comming up. Lovely.
Now I have to study for the test tomorrow. Love that I always start the night before. Can not remember when I last had a test. Or when I did something useful in school. Have I even done anything useful this year?
90's studentparty
We had so much fun last Thursday! From beginning to end! I had really sore cheeks afterwards because I laughed so much throughout the evening. Me and Karin lauged all the way to my front door at half past five, in the middle of the night. Everything was just so good, the atmosphere, the people, the theme and outfits, the mood, on the way over there and the way home. Some people really looked like they were taken from a class party in first grade with waffled hair and glitter spray. Others had terrible, licked hair, parted in the middle, and some had sports trousers or to much denim garments on themselves. Wonderful. We danced all night long, on tables, chairs and speakers.
If I have a half as good time on every student party that is left, I will be satisfied. But it probably will be with Kärrtorp people. Gah, I love my school, I do not want it to end.
Saturday
I slept for fifteen hours! I could go on for a few hours more, but it is enough. Thursday's partying sucked all my energy out of me, but me and Karin managed to get up after a few hours sleep and go to school anyway. We both are the biggest slackers we know, so we are extremely proud of ourselves. Actually, the only reason I managed to wake up was that I felt sick from hunger. I also looked pretty fresh ... until the bags under his eyes began to take shape. They were brutal. I had lunch with Jasmin in town and tried to go around in shops with him afterwards until I almost began to see blurry of tireness. Therefore, I spent Friday night in bed.
I am a bit disappointed that I didn't make any Aprils fool yesterday. It's my thing, I fool everybody else all day and remains the unfooled. I didn't even fool my mother who is usually the ultimate victim every year. Damn. I will make up for it next year.
