I have to start making some changes. I have to start with my health. I am constantly dizzy, tired and weak in different ways. I think I suffer from low blood pressure and iron deficiency. I am almost sure about the second, and I've read that it is affecting a lot mentally as well. Time to make a doctor's appointment. Time to start working out. Time to bring myself together.
Time for me to get out of my bad period... How do you even when you have a period of crisis? How do you know when you are yourself fully and when you are not? How can you know when the mood is constantly changing? One day it feels good, and the second I just want to continue sleeping all day and not have to think of everything, all the hard decisions and an uncertain future. I am a person of great need for control. I want everything in black and white, controled. I feel bad when I do not know, when I have no grip at all, when I can not even find out what the problem is, if there really is anything particularly wrong. But there is something, for I am not satisfied with the way things are right now. It has been better. Something is missing. For the first time ever, I miss me in a past time.