Mention a word about the war, and voila,  the comments starts comming in. Works every time. I can understand that the Swedes wonder about us from Balkan, over our chauvinism and stubbornness and constant nagging about the same thing. I was not planning on commenting this any further because I know it will be a discussion that can go on forever and never lead anywhere. But I can give a tip to everybody: Do some research about it.

By that I don't mean "I know better than you ", what I mean is that reading and doing research about a topic helps a lot against hatred and prejudice, it helps a lot for understanding, and to actually understand that not everything is black and white in something as complex as a war.

Sometimes when I read some blogs, facebook messages, comments, etc. I see myself a few years ago, a person who formed my opinions based on what mom, dad, and grandma told me, without ever opening a book about it. I'm certainly no expert on the subject now either, but for my years in school all my assignments (where I was able to choose the subject freely) have had a connection to Bosnia, for the reason that I want to know more and I want to understand more. I have researched about the history of my country, why we became Muslims, about the war, politics of Bosnia, politics of Serbia, about nationalistic propaganda and about national identity. In addition, it has also helped to read about social psychology and why people do what they do. In all my work I had to think critically, to see things from different perspectives and read much literature. And I can say that my view of things has changed a lot in just these years. Not just because I know more, but I feel I have more support when I speak about something. You don't have to share my opinion, but if you've researched about it, and have let the information in and not just threw it away because it doesn't agree with your views, and at least tried to see things from different perspectives, then I can accept that you have your opinion and I have mine. If not, I will not hate you because you don't share my opinion, which many people do, but I will feel sorry for you because what you know is based on your parents' words. Usually in that situation I choose to not even begin to discuss something with that person, and that stands for everybody, I even have difficulties to discuss something like that with a Bosnian person when I notice that the person hasn't read anything about anything.

After studying society for three years in upper secondary school, I can even admit that I tend to think critically to what my parents say. They probably know more than I do about a lot, but I also think that I probably know more than them on some things. They have experienced certain things and see them from their perspective, and I have done research on multiple perspectives. If I agree with them in anything, I at least want to be able to say that it's because I've read about it and formed my opinion after that. In a few years I hope to know more and develope even more.

Of course, the emotional experiences matter a lot when we form our beliefs and attitudes, and it is not surprising that Bosnians sympathize with Bosnians and Serbs sympathize with Serbs, it dependes on what you have experienced yourself. I agree with some of you who commented that the Bosnians were forced to defend themselves. How would've Bosnia looked today if the people had not tried to defend themselves? However, what you also need to understand is the fact that there are Serbs who faced the same choice, kill or be killed. Then there are also many who killed and supported the killing without having to make that choice, just by pure hatred. I can, despite everything I've read on why this and why that, not stop feeling disgusted with people like Mladic, and I can not understand people who see such a person, who murdered civilians out of pure hatred, as a hero. He did not only kill 8000 soldiers that attacked his home. He also killed refugees, civilians, people who were not at all a threat to his country. You are fooling yourself and I feel sorry for you who think he did something good. Who can not look critically at his own statements, waving it away with the excuse "media angles everything against us". Do you also agree with him about that Muslims are not humans? What he has done and said you have on paper. And if you support it, I will never understand you. And I support his murdering of civilians just as little as I support a Bosnian murdering civilians.

Knowledge is everything. That's what I'll teach my children. I will not teach my children to hate. But I'll teach my children to read up on what I tell them, to question, to think critically, to be entitled to their opinion but to also have support for their opinion. I'll teach them not to hate others because others do not share their views. I'll teach my kids to turn their backs on those who hate them for their opinions, I will teach them that it is not worth spending time on such people. I'll teach them what hatred can do, and what love can create. And what knowledge can give them. I'll teach them to feel sorry for those who don't know that. But until then, I also have a lot to learn.